Gawd, Help Me

Friday, August 18, 2006

I'm on vacation this weekend. I use the word vacation strictly in the technical sense. I won't be at home or at work, I'll get paid for my time off and I'll come home more tired than when I left. In no other way is this a vacation. You see, I'll be at the lake house with the in-laws. That's sure to make for good material for next week.

See, my in-laws are a non-stop wrecking crew. They are the dominant force everywhere they go. There are just so damn many of them. A virtual self-contained, mobile, Mormon ward of their own. They are all loud and opinionated and act like they own the place wherever they are. It is like being a Jew at a ward dinner.

This includes my family's lake house. Somehow they always seem to act like I'm the visitor since there are more of them than me. That means they dominate what is on television, they dominate what games are played, and THEY set the Sunday rules.

It also means that Donna will be in the super-Mormon mode she is always in around her family. As hyper-mo as she is most of the time it is doubly bad around her family.

I'm sure the wife and kids will spend Sunday at church and in their church clothes. The kids will be miserable and I'll end up being the villain somehow. When it is just us, Donna is relaxed about this stuff on vacation. Having her mother there will make everything different.

With her family around Donna won't lounge around in her swimsuit. Instead, she will put it on just before swimming and promptly change back into the layers right after. "What about skinny dipping", you ask? Yeah right. This is out of the question under every circumstance.

I am bracing myself for a long and boring weekend. I will return and report.

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